“He has an uh-mazing dick.” Those were the words of Michelle Money — yes, that is her real name — on this week’s season finale of “Bachelor in Paradise.” She was referring to the appendage of Cody, her now-boyfriend, with whom she had just had an overnight date.
Even before she saw the aforementioned member, she told the camera in a pre-date interview that she was excited to see what she would find that evening.
That’s not because I enjoy seeing men, or women, reduced to their genitals — quite the contrary!
It also happens that this week Jared Leto inspired a bunch of penis-fawning by grabbing his junk during a performance, which Lauren Yapalater broke down on Buzz Feed via several stills and commentary such as, “WHOSITSWHATITSBALLOOGAAAHELGSKHGLSNDGMSD?????!!!“I’ve literally never heard ‘he was small but knew how to use it,’” she said.“I think women are a lot more size-ist than they want to be.” Real talk from this one!Then you said your oral capabilities made up for it.They didn’t.”I suppose it’s fair to conclude that the reality of how women talk about penises is both men’s best fantasy and worst nightmare.
I’m very pro-“motion of the ocean” thinking, for the record, and to any straight man concerned that his penis is not large enough, allow me to direct you to a diagram of the vagina and, importantly, the G-spot.