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The abundance of meat, bread and beer certainly hasn’t made any sexier, so what the hell man? Maybe it’s greater emphasis on walking and cycling as means of daily transportation.

All I know is young German dudes tend to have awesome bodies.

He didn’t think his countrymen were any taller than mine, but suggested if there ingenious theory, however, was that German winters typically last longer than those in the States, resulting in less sunlight and an overall deficiency of vitamin D.

I went on to explain, beer in hand, how this would logically require the human body to adapt in order to increase surface area, resulting in a lanky populace better equipped to absorb sunlight.

I see them every single day, and their genetic good fortune pisses me off.

One day, in a social setting, I asked a medical student here in Germany why the guys seemed so tall.

I believe this is because a language isn’t just a bunch of words; it’s a different way of .

My wife is a scalding hot German woman with two master’s degrees and a smile so stunning it could stop your heart. I have absolutely no motivation to give out dating advice, especially when it might help young German men get a little extra honey on their stingers.

That, or sexy unicorns are pissing in the groundwater.

Anyway, as I’ve said before, there are exceptions to every rule; not every young guy you meet here is going to be devastatingly handsome… Christ, with all the moussed hair, trendy jeans, blessed height and Olympian physiques, living in Germany is like being trapped inside one huge boyband.

Six pack abs are everywhere, as are broad shoulders and sculpted jawlines.

This is why, on a worldwide scale of beauty from 1 to 10 — with 10 being the most beautiful — I am considered a British “7,” an American “6,” and a German “warthog.” You know what else German guys have going for them? They wear cool clothing that isn’t garish or overtly macho, and their hair tends to be stick-straight, allowing them to shape it into dazzling works of art.

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Listen, I’m 5’10” tall when I’m wearing thick soled shoes, standing up perfectly straight and totally lying to myself. They are, as my wife would put it, “.” Obviously there are exceptions — I’ve seen a few short guys here too — but most of them are like the Ents from the Lord of the Rings; elongated tree people, all lanky as hell with arms and legs akimbo.

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